Groups · Plate VI Six-plate group
THE GYM
Gymnus americanus
All six gym regulars, catalogued in the wild.
9 tee colours
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Common Specimens · Vol. I
A gift for the person who is impossible to buy for
They already have everything except a formal scientific record of their own behaviour. A hundred and twenty-five plates, every one catalogued one at a time.
Tees $34 · sweatshirts $49 · free US shipping
15 plates
Every plate opens its own page, with what is printed on it, all the colours it prints on, and a short film of the shirt.
Groups · Plate VII Six-plate group
THE DMV
Bureaucratus eternus
Now serving: a number that is not yours.
9 tee colours
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Groups · Plate VIII Six-plate group
THE GROCERY STORE
Marketus chaoticus
The Express-Lane Cheater: twelve items is a mindset.
9 tee colours
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Groups · Plate IX Six-plate group
THE WEDDING
Nuptialis awkwardus
The Open-Bar Camper: found his seat for the evening.
9 tee colours
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Groups · Plate X Six-plate group
THE LITTLE LEAGUE GAME
Sidelinus fanaticus
The Outfield Daisy-Picker: batting .000, thriving.
9 tee colours
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Groups · Plate XIV Six-plate group
THE DOG PARK
Barkus socialus
The Non-Listener: hears you, has other plans.
9 tee colours
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Groups · Plate XX Six-plate group
THE DADS
Paternus legendarius
The Just-In-Case Dad: carries a multitool. Has used it: once.
9 tee colours
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Groups · Plate XXI Six-plate group
THE MOMS
Maternus multitaskus
The Text-Me Mom: 'Text me when you get there.' You're thirty-four. It still applies.
9 tee colours
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People · Plate I
THE NORTH AMERICAN OVERTHINKER
Homo whatifus
Professionally reviewing every scenario since forever.
9 tee colours
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Critters · Plate I
THE SUBURBAN RACCOON
Nocturnus trashpandus
Diet: whatever you were saving.
9 tee colours
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Pets · Plate XIV
THE BLACK CAT
Felis voidus
A small piece of the void, with eyes.
9 tee colours
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Pets · Plate XVI
THE LABRADOR
Canis bottomlessus
Stomach: bottomless. Standards: none.
9 tee colours
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People · Plate XIX
THE TEACHER
Homo repeatus
Says 'one more time' 47 times daily.
9 tee colours
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People · Plate XXVI
THE HIKER
Homo trailmixus
"Almost there" means three more miles.
9 tee colours
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How this works
- I. You order on Etsy. Checkout is handled by Etsy, with its Purchase Protection, and your card never touches this site.
- II. We print it to order in one to three business days. Nothing is warehoused; nothing is overprinted.
- III. It ships free in the US; orders have arrived in seven to eleven days. Damaged, misprinted, or not what the listing showed? Thirty days, replacement or refund.