Groups · Plate VI Six-plate group
THE GYM
Gymnus americanus
All six gym regulars, catalogued in the wild.
9 tee colours
Opens the listing on Etsy
Common Specimens · Vol. I
A gift for the person who is impossible to buy for
They already have everything except a formal scientific record of their own behaviour. A hundred and twenty-five plates, every one catalogued one at a time.
Tees $34 · crewnecks $49 · free US shipping
- Free US shipping
- Printed in 2–5 days
- Sizes S–3XL
- 30-day replacement or refund
15 plates
Every plate opens its own page, with what is printed on it, all the colours it prints on, and a short film of the shirt.
Groups · Plate VII Six-plate group
THE DMV
Bureaucratus eternus
Now serving: a number that is not yours.
9 tee colours
Opens the listing on Etsy
Groups · Plate VIII Six-plate group
THE GROCERY STORE
Marketus chaoticus
The Express-Lane Cheater: twelve items is a mindset.
9 tee colours
Opens the listing on Etsy
Groups · Plate IX Six-plate group
THE WEDDING
Nuptialis awkwardus
The Open-Bar Camper: found his seat for the evening.
9 tee colours
Opens the listing on Etsy
Groups · Plate X Six-plate group
THE LITTLE LEAGUE GAME
Sidelinus fanaticus
The Outfield Daisy-Picker: batting .000, thriving.
9 tee colours
Opens the listing on Etsy
Groups · Plate XIV Six-plate group
THE DOG PARK
Barkus socialus
The Non-Listener: hears you, has other plans.
9 tee colours
Opens the listing on Etsy
People · Plate I
THE NORTH AMERICAN OVERTHINKER
Homo whatifus
Professionally reviewing every scenario since forever.
9 tee colours
Opens the listing on Etsy
Critters · Plate I
THE SUBURBAN RACCOON
Nocturnus trashpandus
Diet: whatever you were saving.
9 tee colours
Opens the listing on Etsy
Pets · Plate XIV
THE BLACK CAT
Felis voidus
A small piece of the void, with eyes.
9 tee colours
Opens the listing on Etsy
Pets · Plate XVI
THE LABRADOR
Canis bottomlessus
Stomach: bottomless. Standards: none.
9 tee colours
Opens the listing on Etsy
People · Plate XIX
THE TEACHER
Homo repeatus
Says 'one more time' 47 times daily.
9 tee colours
Opens the listing on Etsy
People · Plate XX
THE MOM
Homo supermomus
"Because I said so" is the final ruling.
9 tee colours
Opens the listing on Etsy
People · Plate XXVI
THE HIKER
Homo trailmixus
"Almost there" means three more miles.
9 tee colours
Opens the listing on Etsy
People · Plate XXIX
THE GARDENER
Homo mulchus
The zucchini cannot be stopped.
9 tee colours
Opens the listing on Etsy
How this works
- I. You order on Etsy. Checkout is handled by Etsy, with its Purchase Protection, and your card never touches this site.
- II. We print it to order in two to five days. Nothing is warehoused; nothing is overprinted.
- III. It ships free in the US and arrives in four to ten days. Damaged, misprinted, or not what the listing showed? Thirty days, replacement or refund.